Oncscathed: Of Two Minds

No journey would be complete without some wrong-way turns, some questionable outcomes, something that the hero’s superpowers don’t work with, leaving him ( or her) to rely on their personal virtues, intuition and situational/self assessment to overcome adversity.

In this case, it started out simply enough.

There was an off-label drug which is used to encourage the immune system to greater activity. This drug, which had been prescribed for me by a doctor and I began taking twice daily ( per instructions) had a strong secondary, psychological effect.

The effect was hyper-alertness / hyperfocus with heightened reactivity.

In short, I was wired.

Every day.

The effect was cumulative.

By the end of 9 weeks, I could no longer recognize the base personality in everyday activity.

“I” was saying and doing things that are not characteristic of stable, mature adult behavior, much less of PNSE.

The drug-based wired personality had come to occupy the “driver’s seat”.

The wired personality needed to go, and the drug discontinued due to unacceptable perceptual disturbances and exaggerated emotional responses.

It was like throwing some unwelcome guest out of the house, only the house was my mind.

Am happy to report that the original personality, the more stable, more mature personality started to reassert itself quickly once full recognition had happened.

The pills flew into the trash.

Have wondered if some mental illnesses may feel like a stranger lives here and is making decisions and mistakes that “I” will have to answer for.

Have also noticed little written about the effects of psychoactive drugs on PNSE.

What a strange and curious dead end episode along the way of the cancer journey.

The comic pic is from here.

Two minded man from here.

The dead end sign is from here.

About dominic724

A former seeker starts blogging.
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