Somethings just stand out, like jagged shards of ice thrusting up from under a blanket of fluffy new snow.
Moments can be like that, brief noticings caught sharp and brightly held in mind.
A few moments from the cancer journey follow, just those that glint in the bright sunshine of freshly recent experience…
[ Long drawn out silence during palpation in doctor’s office… ]
Dr.1: “Could be early lymphoma. We’ll have to run some tests to be sure.”
(Note: Anything that ends in -oma is usually unwished for news.)
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[ Waiting to hear of biopsy results in Surgeon’s’s office. Surgeon strides into the office holding printout of biopsy results. ]
Surgeon: ” You have cancer.”
This mind: ( Well, I knew I was going to die someday. The calendar just moved.)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
[ Meeting Dr. H. for the first time, and discussing the diagnosis of lymphoma.]
Dr. H.: “ Lymphomas are easy.“ ( to treat )
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[ Speaking at length with a consulting Doctor at the cancer clinic]
Me.: “Sometimes I wonder if you are all crazy. Don’t you want to kill cancer ? I’m trying all these extra therapies to kill the cancer. What else is there?”
Consulting Dr.:” Cancer is a symptom of weakness or deficiency in the body. The goal is to make your body stronger and the cancer will not be able to remain in a strong, healthy body. We do not have to kill cancer. All we have to do is remove the conditions that let it start growing in the first place. ” *
After 3 months of treatments, I sat in stunned silence, struck by an AHA! moment of insight.
*N.B. – This is as far as I can tell exactly what happened.
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Dr. & patient from here.
CT scan from here.
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