Awakening sounds like a solitary event, the yearned for goal at the finish line.
Buddhist teachings perpetuate this idea.
Other spiritual writers have perpetuated this idea.
I have previously perpetuated this idea through this blog.
Am here to correct this notion.
It seems rather that awakening may go on and on, awakening as a process of indefinite learning, development and evolution .
Where to start?
Oh, right… the only place to ever start authentically…with lived experience.
After 7 years of life in the wide awake awareness, “I” died to another version of a false self… again.
Like the first false self, this false self was a thought creation.
Like the first awakening, this event released amazing energy into the body and a deep and vast sense of freedom into mind.
Like the first time, this event was a seeing through of an identity, something believed to be “true”. In this case, it was a much more subtle, new & improved, ghost-like identity. ( thought fabricated, no matter how gossamer threaded.)
In the circles I travel, this confusion is a well known flavor.
I was careful to watch out for it, determined to avoid such an obvious mistake !
It happened anyway.
The fundamental confusion is not just ” Who am I ? ” but “What does anyone do ?”, and ” Who does anything? “.
What happened here, in the 7 years after the seeker disappeared, was that a much, much more subtle version of an awake identity had emerged.
This, whilst holding the intention to look out for such self-deception.
Apparently, mindfulness does not guarantee control.
Guarantees and controlling outcomes were the kind of talk left behind a long time ago. So what gives ?
All we can do is set the intention and trust to grace.
Ultimately, the timing of freedom is not up to the one who asks.
It’s all grace.
So, where does this leave us ?
Where we were all along; living life here, now, or else pretending not to. Those are the two choices in every moment, “awake” or not, and we can go back and forth, as conscious or as unconscious a manner as circumstances and intention allow.
Photo from here.
Graphic from here.