At first, spiritual practice
felt like increasing control.
Morality.
Ethics.
Sila.
This lasted for years,
and it felt good.
I am a good person.
I can trust myself.
Others can trust me.
Etc.
Then the first break came.
And I was nobody.
Spaciosness.
Clarity.
Peace.
For about 15 minutes.
Then back to this life,
but as nobody
With the idea
that now
I had the secret to world peace.
Six years later
came the third movement
after beating
my nondual head
against innumerable
nonbrick walls
RASA
upends the apple cart
of the nonworld
this nobody enjoyed
Which cart
which way
which
domination fades
desire for control fades
insistence fades
what was it
that was so imprtant
it had to happen
when ?
fear dissolves
so much of life
runs off the energy of fear
fear floats up
like a turd
in the toilet bowl
un-ignorable
obvious
plain
what’s left
still here
360 degrees
open
unbounded
immenant
