Bending to tie shoelaces, icy talons of pain seized the lower back.
Immediately relaxing, the pain vanished.
A moment later, it was back.
A year passed since I last saw the chiropractor – apparently too long.
This pain would not hang around to be deconstructed.
There was no chance to get used to it, to explore it, feel into it.
A bright, stabbing convulse and then vanished.
Each time felt brand new, fresh and sharp.
Made an appointment for an adjustment at once.
Took the next day off work.
No attempt to do the usual household chores,
or most other ordinary activities.
Just getting into/out of bed challenged.
The perceptual world shrank.
The mind swirled around questions of ability.
Can I do this?
Am I able to do this all the way to the end without pain ?
Is it worth attempting to do this ?
The simplest movements needed a choreography and a values assessment.
No lifting anything heavier than a toothbrush.
Posture altered to minimize discomfort.
30 hours after I had stooped to tie the shoelaces, a very welcome chiropractic adjustment and some associated therapy cleared out the worse of the misalignment and pain source from the back.
Am a big fan of chiropractors and spinal manipulation !
The tension wound up gradually, unwinds gradually.
Minor pain lingers as part of the recovery process.
In such a short time a whole new posture needs unlearning and undoing.
Am left reflecting again on mind, the presumptions that continue to pass through the mind, unbidden, but appearing all the same.
Feeling suddenly limited and weak, an invalid, rapidly shifted mental focus to one of sickness or injury. What am I in-valid to do ? Validated by what standard ? Clearly, am carrying around some unwritten standards.
The presumed capacity for freedom of movement had dissolved in the last moment before the shoelace event. The presumed capacity for physical strength quickly followed.
Without physical strength and freedom of movement, the world suddenly seems daunting.
It’s not just discomfort or pain, but how the world looked
when injury and even temporary impairment come into this life.
It looked a lot smaller, all of a sudden.
It looked like a great deal of promise and potential just vaporized.
It looked like everything else went on hold – address the pain and the basic necessities.
It looked like camping, but with half the gear and most of the food gone, raining, getting dark, and windy…except not that pleasant.
It looked like everything happened further away, all of a sudden.
This life has had little physical pain.
When it comes, insistent and demanding, I shall show it to its room.
So this is how awareness appears today ?
How is that, really ?
*1 – This blog does not use the antiquated whom for the objective case.
First pic of back from here: http://dolsonpainrelief.blogspot.com/2012/09/back-pain-and-chiropractic-solutions.html
Stability ball from here: http://savvystudentshopper.com/blog/2011/12/27/sears-free-stability-ball-in-store/
Rumble roller from here: http://www.busybody.com/item/1924-sti-rumble-roller-compact-blue-5%27×12
This blog and its author receive no compensation of any kind, nor sponsorship of any kind from the makers or distributors of the products shown above. Neither friends nor relatives work at these companies nor distribute these products. These products are representative of two of the ancillary therapies which have helped in my recovery , used after the chiropractic visit. I now own one of each.