Always said it wasn’t an addiction, since there were no cravings after the fact.
For years, spent almost as much time as possible on the computer:
reading email, news feeds, favorite websites, Facebook, blogs, surfing, buying books.
Hours of screen time each day
in spite and on top of
the hours of screen time occupationally required.
And on silent retreats, never missed it.
Stepping into silence,
happy to be free of the requirements of everyday life,
and the maintenance the cyberlife requires.
Until this year.
Memorial Day.
A short retreat in Payson, AZ.
Craving appeared,
with all its deceptive,
limiting, neediness.
Absent accustomed stimulation,
the neurons screamed for their fix like a hungry infant.
How about writing it all down with pen and paper ?
Feel better ?
Post it all later, OK ?
By the last morning,
craving had vanished,
dissolved into the universal solvent of silence.
Along with craving had gone something else:
the sense that the world needed to hear what “I” had to say.
This has happened before,
and then worn off.
The world is crazy, broken, misguided !
It must be told ! This Message must be broadcast!
Not.
Months passed, nothing returned.
No more internet craving.
Months passed, no posts.
No urge to tell anyone anything.
Eventually, something arose.
It always does.
So here is another post.
By no one, to no one.
Experience, described.
Just so.
** * * * * * * * *
The retreat pic came from here: http://www.adventuresofjoy.com/why-retreat-in-silence/
The baby pic came from here: http://www.nurturenanny.com.au/2011/07/09/settle-crying-baby/
The writing pic came from here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2010/jun/01/bad-handwriting-marking-exams
For further consideration:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704025304575284981644790098.html
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/07/is-google-making-us-stupid/306868/
http://www.netaddiction.com/index.php?option=com_bfquiz&view=onepage&catid=46&Itemid=106
http://www.amazon.com/The-Shallows-Internet-Doing-Brains/dp/0393072223
Standing in an Open Field 
Thank you! 🙂 May be you don’t feel the need anymore, but… sharing… giving… is compassion and love. If you don’t do it for you… do it for those that read your posts. 😉
You do honor by reading and commenting here.
How kind !
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, at all times. – d
A dangerously pervasive addiction, I think. Your description made me wince with recognition. Ah yes, pen and paper 🙂
Thanks for sharing your observations and your honesty ! – d
Isn’t it strange, the things that the mind will crave just to give itself something to do in order to perpetuate itself?
Yup !
Nice, Dominic, thank you.
Thanks for stopping by ! – d