Stumbling into Grace

Sitting.
Meditating.
Trying to stay ” In the Now ”

Drifting away.
Lost in thoughts.
“In the Now”.

Back, present again.
Thoughts chasing thoughts.
Sigh.

Patience.
Practice lightly – those are the instructions.
Patience, and practice lightly.

Posture.
Breathing.
Posture.

We are to expect years of practice.
Look what the Buddhas had to do.
Are you a Buddha yet?

Ten thousand miles from Buddhahood.
Sigh.

No one could be further than “I” from awakening
with so many thoughts
and so little presence.

Nothing to do but sit.
No where to be but Now.

Finally:

One teacher let out that sitting didn’t matter.
Another said posture wasn’t important.
A third said ” The mind is self liberating.”

And then this: “The Dhammapada does not even mention meditation.”
I checked to see if it was true.

One sunny day
The thought machine’s finest production
exploded into ten thousand pieces

Shiny shards scintillating in the sunlight
Against the backdrop of a new life

Today, maybe there is sitting, maybe not.
Today, maybe there is concentration, maybe not.
Today, maybe there is noticing, maybe not.

All natural.
All spontaneous.
All Now.

Nothing left to “do”.

********************************************************************************

The pic is from here: http://www.dansdata.com/images/blog/diffraction/halogen1280.jpg

About dominic724

A former seeker starts blogging.
This entry was posted in Buddhist Practice, No self, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Stumbling into Grace

  1. Arjuna says:

    You’ve let the cat out of the bag!

  2. ZenSoapbox says:

    I know I’m stuck in the “doing” mindset, but my excuse is I’m just a babe (practicing seriously for a little more than a year). However, I can’t help but think that all the years of “work” you did–all the meditating, contemplating writings, listening to the dharma talks, etc.–must gave prepared you for that moment of awakening. Am I wrong?

    • dominic724 says:

      I don’t know.

      Inquiry, done with an intense determination, every free moment, was dissolving the self even before the Gate crossing.

      Years of some practices do look in retrospect like a big irrelevancy.

      Did some impediment have to be worn down through those practices that I don’t know or recall ? I don’t know.

      If I had encountered Direct Pointing five years ago, would it have worked with the same efficacy ? I don’t know – it’s not what happened.

      Do some people, with no meditation experience and even no spiritual inclination
      hear about Direct Pointing and cross the Gate – having done no practice, and with no problem ?
      Yes, they do.
      (Sometimes afterwards they start meditating.)
      Sometimes people wake up spontaneously,
      and don’t even have a word for what happened ( like Suzanne Segal in COLLISION WITH THE INFINITE )

      The idea that awakening is only something “earned” through years of laborious meditation misleads.

      Perhaps some of us need a few more years of frustration
      before finally allowing what was always present
      to exist without a self projected into it.

      It’s probably relevant that most “awake” people have meditated regularly for years.

      The Direct Pointing technique, with a guide, is available for anyone, for free, at Liberation Unleashed. http://www.liberationunleashed.com
      So far 3 real world friends and 2 readers from the bloggosphere have crossed the Gate this way.

      But really, I have no idea what anyone wants to do.
      So there is just writing here.
      We swap some ideas.
      Who knows where it leads?
      Maybe no one.

      d

      • I’ve pondered this one a bit myself. It is quite clear, to me anyway, that awakening is always available regardless of the amount of practice one has done, and yet many who awaken have had a regular practice, as you point out. Personally, I did not meditate before awakening, but for years I had a burning desire to solve the question of who I was. This intense search finally collapsed under its own intensity into an awakening. It does seem that in many (but not all) cases people who awaken have had some such question, and perhaps it is likely that such people would gravitate toward a practice in search of an answer. Thus, when their intense personal inquiry results in awakening, it seems as though it was the practice that did it. That’s my theory, otherwise it’s a bit of a mystery!
        Actually, I’m one of those people who started meditating after awakening, although it is really resting as awareness rather than the application of any technique. Once I’d awakened, I realized that it was great just to sit in our natural state 🙂
        ~ Paul

    • dominic724 says:

      https://standinginanopenfield.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/the-day-i-left-for-good/

      All the “I” knows is doing. That’s its nature – movement – thoughts are perpetually in motion. That’s why being / sitting still is “so hard” for many people – they feel like a human doing, and associate themselves with activity.
      What knows the “I” ?
      What recognizes activity ?
      Thoughts are objects which are known – they cannot act outside the mind.

      The Vanishing Narrative blog is all about this self as thought , etc .
      It might be time to put another no self post on SIAOF.

      Thanks for this comment !

  3. Hi Dominic,
    I am nominating you for the Commentator Award. See my post for the guidelines:
    http://restinginawareness.com/2012/05/31/the-commentator-award/
    ~ Paul

  4. vivjm says:

    Ah, this is marvellous! Perfectly describes the striving that meditation can sometimes become, and the clarity and relief that comes with letting go of that strife.

  5. Shantideva says:

    So it is… Very well written. The more institutionalized it gets and the more rituals, rules and procedures are invented. A path is being defined. You have to follow a path to truth though truth is there always. As JK says “Truth is a pathless land”. Gurus can point out, but no guru nor doctrine can show. What is the taste of chocolate? No path, ritual, rule or procedure will help to get it to know to the one that has never tasted chocolate. 😉

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