Forgiveness Practice, Walking

Eyes open, with each step
repeat to yourself
I forgive you
one syllable each step
I…forgive… you.

With each step
repeat to yourself
I forgive me
one syllable each step
I…forgive… me.

With each step
repeat to yourself
You forgive me
one syllable each step
I…forgive… you.

Per Bhante Vimalaramsi,
proponent of this style of contemplation:
” The circle is complete. ”

Bhante Vimalaramsi practiced this way for two years
until there was nothing left to practice with.

Then loving-kindness
had no impediments;
nothing could stand it its way.

Forgiveness Instructions by Bhante Vimalaramsi

Who is Bhante Vimalaramsi ?

Photo from here.

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Forgiveness Practice

This life
has passed
physically easy
and emotionally
full of misery.

This may be
from the nature of emotions
which are suffering itself.

I can thank
my Mediterranean ancestors
for their overflowing passions.

Still, what’s here is here.

How much
have I involved my own
initiative, motivation, emotive energy
in actively perpetuating suffering
for myself and others ?

How do I begin the inquiry
into this dark morass of confusion
that obscures original innocence ?

Forgiveness is the solvent
dissolving the blocks to loving-kindness

Forgiveness is the unstoppable wave
that clears away
all obstacles.

How to practice ?

Eyes closed, sit relaxed.

I forgive myself
… for not understanding…
for making mistakes and errors…
for causing pain to myself or to others…
for not acting the way I should have acted.

I forgive another
… for not understanding…
for making mistakes and errors…
for causing pain to myself or to others…
for not acting the way they should have acted.

I hear and see and feel forgiveness toward myself
… for not understanding…
for making mistakes and errors…
for causing pain to myself or to others…
for not acting the way I should have acted.

Or you can use your own words.

Imagine looking yourself in the eyes while speaking.
Imagine looking the other in the eyes while speaking.
See/hear/feel forgiveness taking place.

Feel into the heart as you return
to a painful relationship or experience.

Is there any tension, tightness, hardness, resistance ?

More to practice.

Keep going.

I shall not be satisfied with anything
other than complete freedom
from the heavy baggage of the mind.

Why settle for anything less ?

Guide to Forgiveness Meditation by Bhante Vimalaramsi

Wire walker here.

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A Forgivable Disdain of Forgiveness

Most of us have baggage.

I have only met a few
who didn’t seem to have any left;
they were all teachers.

Many of us grew up with Christianity;
most of the rest grew up in a culture
heavily influenced by Christianity.

Christianity holds forgiveness in high regard
without providing any method for applying it.

To a mind afficted
with judgement, anger and resentment
this recipe yields misery.

Catholic Christianity in particular
holds guilt in high regard.
Guilt is about failure, and the past.

There is plenty to forgive in every life;
failure to forgive fuels the sense of guilt
and guilt is bondage.
Bondage is painful.

Talking about forgiveness in a nonChristian setting
resembles a high-wire act with a slippery wire
on a breezy day.

Not much chance of getting anywhere.
So why do it ?

Why do anything ?
Why blog ?
Why speak ?
Why live ?

Ever wonder ?
Have spent this life wondering.

What “we do” along the way
flavors the journey.
Sometimes insufferably.
Always unavoidably.

Until it doesn’t.

Image from here.

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Forgiveness: The Missing Link of Practice

Why is Metta / Lovingkindness so ” hard ” ?

How is it even a “thing ” for practitioners ?

Practitioners are self-selected,
other-interested,
motivated.

There is born the wish
to broadcast loving  energy to the world,
and to everyone they know ?

Where is the issue then ?

Glaring out
from the depths of meditation
(or in some cases, the shallow shoals)
awaits a blockage.

Resentment.
Judgement.
Mental rigidity.

Not “allowing”
the other person
to simply be.

Someone made a mistake
in the past
and now
they do not “deserve”
to be released
from that condemnation.

There is actually an ebook entirely devoted to this problem.

If you are like many seekers
there remains someone
or several someones
who remainedly deseerves condemnation

some event from the past
you cannot let go of

something
you simply cannot
get passed.

For Bhante Vimalaramsi,
that is exactly where practice begins.

Forgiveness practice
allows lovingkindness
the space it needs
to expand.

Without it,
lovingkindness
doesn’t make it
off the ground.

Lovingkindness is the other wing
of the dual wings
of awakening;
emptiness and lovingkindness.

Metta / Loviing-kindness Meditation

Loving-Kindness & the 6 Rs

Image from here.

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Ex Nihilo

Don’t tell me

I am space
we are space
space is all there is

I feel solid objects
I feel emotions
I know what I think
I don’t believe what you are saying
I believe in science
I am myself

Science finds space and energy, only
no objects
no matter
no ego center in the brain = no “you ”

Science shamefacedly shows up the sham
There are no nouns, anywhere
The universe is
a collective of processes

you
are
a
verb

Verbs are motion
Existence
Energy
Being

All else is
mere interpretation
appearence and
stories

made up
ex nihilo
by storytelling apes*

Drawing from here.

* this one included

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RASA, Ramaji, shaktipat

At first, spiritual practice
felt like increasing control.

Morality.
Ethics.
Sila.

This lasted for years,
and it felt good.

I am a good person.
I can trust myself.
Others can trust me.

Etc.

Then the first break came.

And I was nobody.

Spaciosness.
Clarity.
Peace.

For about 15 minutes.

Then back to this life,
but as nobody

With the idea
that now
I had the secret to world peace.

Six years later
came the third movement
after beating
my nondual head
against innumerable
nonbrick walls

RASA

upends the apple cart
of the nonworld
this nobody enjoyed

Which cart
which way
which

domination fades
desire for control fades
insistence fades

what was it
that was so imprtant
it had to happen
when ?

fear dissolves

so much of life
runs off the energy of fear

fear floats up
like a turd
in the toilet bowl

un-ignorable
obvious
plain

what’s left
still here
360 degrees

open
unbounded
immenant

 

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promised land: stories from awakeville

the promised land
lacks nothing
filled with food, wine,
money, sex,
and wi-fi

the promised land
the grand reward
for those who persevere

overflowing
with the wanted
and the worth-its

the promised land
more real than real
MUST
hold no fault nor flaw

Eden-Paradise-Utopia
is like that
ideal
shiny
clean

at what cost
does one arrive?

what’s the bridge toll?
nothing real is free

turns out
the toll
weighs heavy on the mind

something
the rich
fail to mention

pretending
it never was
the eye of a needle

who is surprised?
what did I think?
how was I disappointed?

the free that’s worth having
and costs nothing
lives in fairy tales
and children’s movies

even a mother’s breast milk
readily given with love
costs the energy
of a baby’s cry

but you don’t understand-
you don’t see-
I’m losing my mind,
my nouns,
my treasured memory

sure, I want the Absolute
the All-That-Is
God’s Face
Nibanna

And I want to stay as I was-
comfortable
untroubled
unbothered

Dark nights are for others
stuttering over parts of speech
losing track of time
dissolving ambitions, projects, plans
those are for someone else

I’ll take the hand of the Infinite
as long
as it is convenient

if I don’t set
the terms, the time, the rules
then
why should I play
this silly game ?

_________________________________

stories from awakeville are chunks of free verse
derived from post awakening inner experience

Posted in Poetry & Free Verse | Tagged , , , , , ,

ice walk: stories from awakeville

brittle splitting
of frozen crystals

spider veins
radiate outward
jagged, wild

no one to fall through
the thinned ice today

the ice splits
nonetheless

some weight
made the ice split

whose ?

who hears
the brittle snapping
all around
so far
from the lake shore ?

death waits
barely
one more instant
as the rotten ice
gives way

I have been through this before

I didn’t survive

wtf ?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

stories from awakeville are chunks of free verse
focused on post awakening inner experience

Image from here.

Posted in Poetry & Free Verse | Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

simulacrum : stories from awakeville

the wide open spaciousness
of awakeville
didn’t need a golem

but mind
made one anyway
without telling anyone

the golem was translucent
and easy to miss

he could do most things
the old me could do
and better

secretly,
the golem was welcome

after all,
he was mine

one day,
the golem made a mistake

what’s wrong with the golem ?

a quick search of golem lit
revealed
golems have no particular lifespan

since they are not alive to begin with
the golem could malfunction
and stop
at almost any time

one day
it would be
for good

the golem tripped, fell,
slowly got back up, and
started walking
the wrong way

uh-oh.

the golem is running down.

he has shown himself
so terribly useful
at so may things
how he will be missed

the golem
of my attributes
my collection of the good
and the worthwhile

dissassembling
before my eyes

another precious mind creation

so much
for what
I thought

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

stories from awakeville are chunks of free verse
derived from post awakening inner experience

Golem definition.

Golem image.

Posted in Poetry & Free Verse | Tagged , , , , , , ,

no land in sight

everyone

is looking for

a lighthouse, a beacon, a buoy,

s o m e t h i n g

to tell us

we are going the right way

….

it helps

to imagine

we have friends

along the journey

especially

someone who claims

to know

whats going on

….

at the end of the day

we are all

still

just human beings

feeling our way

in the dark

 

 

Photo from here.

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